So now I’m really in the shit.
Fucking telephone got turned off. Thanks T-Mobile.
I gotta find some dickweed all the way up in BFE (Bum Fuck Egypt). Thanks dead girl.
My unemployment is running out. Thanks United States Of America.
And lets face it living with my uncle is sad at best, Pathetic at worst. And on top of all that it was New Years a couple of days ago.
Now don’t get me wrong, I get hammered on New Years. I wander around blacked out and try to flirt with girls (who are in no way interested), holding my glass daintily with two fingers with the best of them.
But what a terrible-no good delusion. Celebrating in the hope that the next year will be better than the last, convincing ourselves that anything separates this eternal shitstorm from one moment or year to the next. Fuck it. Insane. Ridiculous.
When I finally came to late in the afternoon on the 3rd I had a crumpled piece of paper in my pocket that said...
Steve Wilson’s New Years Resolutions
AND THATS ALL IT SAID. WHAT HELP IS THAT?
Shit, i digress.
So i have a lot going on. It’s time to man up. or at least man-child up. But not today.
I’ve decided that today would be for me. All those problems are future Steve Wilson’s problems - hell - I don’t even know that guy. Today would be mine.
12:28 - woke up. Watched first five minute of episode of Parks and Recreation before falling asleep again. It was the one where Ron got shot. I dreamt something about cats.
2:40 - looked at motorcycles on Craigslist. Can’t afford them. Also can’t afford five dollar footlong - look through change - can afford six inch.
3:30 - Uncle Don is arguing loudly over the phone about Steve Martin. I don’t know why. I eat some Texas Toast.
3:50 - Smoke half a cigarette. Look for jobs on craigslist - regret dropping out of college.
4:36 - Cold. Cut. Combo. Bitches.
6:12 - Want blow - no blow - no money.
7:20 - Post Poem on blog, uninspired. Think about re-writing, too lazy.
9:15 - Convince Parker to come over and bring a case of PBR. We go see Life As We Know It at Budget South. Sucks.
10:20 - Smoke one-ie in the bathroom at the theater. Little kid gives me a weird look. I tell him to mind his own business - Keeps giving me weird look.
Kids don’t know how easy they got it. No jobs, no rent, no responsibility.
12:29 - Parker is still talking. I tune further and further out.
1:47 - Back in basement. Sad lonely. Think about ex-girlfriend. Wonder if she would take me back (prolly not). Wonder about girl I cheated on her with. Wonder what bar she’s in.
I have to get my act together. Tomorrow is the day. I swear it. On my mother’s grave I swear it.